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On one of the last days of May, I lost a good friend. He was one of the most honest and fair people I know. He always walked around with a smile on his face, helping everyone he liked or disliked. I just recognized at first sight that he was an introvert under the hood, especially for himself.

My best friend introduced him to me and my life, which made our relationship easy and solid from the first moments. We didn't share too much time when he was alive—probably not enough. But we understood each other when, together, he knew the child inside of me and I knew his one. Shared foods, rooms, home, stories, movies, drinks, cigarettes, friends, our last money (more than a few times), and some enthusiasms and passions. We talked and sometimes argued about almost anything for days and nights. He was smarter than me and also had a street smart advantage. Saved us more than many times from different things.

People told me that even on his last day, his room was clean and tidy. He was feeding the birds coming to his window and the cats at his doorstep. Every legal and casual detail was thought through and settled before his death by himself.

I heard his death from my best friend, and we cried together on the phone a bit. Followed by curses and sobs for a few more hours. Next week, we went to the city where he was living and joined the memorial service together again. We laughed and socialised with other people because he always wanted this.

I couldn't turn back my daily routine for a long time. This isn't an excuse, frankly; I was always like this. Maybe my real routine is breaking it as far as I can. I wrote so many things about him, deleted them, and wrote again. I tried to write here a few times, but I never couldn't think straight and focus.

This is the last day of 2023, according to the calendar. Somehow something ticked in my head and I came here and wrote this. No goodbye old year or welcome new year thing. I just want to write this; this at least explains why I didn't update my personal website for months. To you, the reader, or perhaps to me, the writer.

Happy new year, everyone, and good luck!